skinnychris

It never fails, every weekend someone is going to call us with an invitation for some sort of cookout, bbq, fish-fry, etc.  And just like clockwork the phone rang last night.

 Its a fish fry. 

So here I sit 45 minutes before we are due there trying to decide on what to do.  I know I dont need to eat that stuff.  After its all said and done I’m not gonna feel any better by eating fried fish.  But I have been craving fish for sometime now.  These folks know I am on a diet, we have been to other get-togethers they have had since I started this diet. And its always the same thing, “you can eat one time…its not gonna hurt ya”.  And normally I smile and say thanks but no thanks and change the subject.  But I want to eat it today.    The smells alone are gonna kill me!!!

Right now I plan on eating right before we walk out the door and taking a big ol jug of tea with me to drink on.  While I sit there and watch everyone one else eat fried fish, hush puppies and fried potatoes.  Oh jeez, why is the happening to me?!?!?

I just busted that plateau and I dont want to do anything to cause the weight loss to stop again.  I guess I just need to put on my big girl panties and suck it up and quit whining.  I have turned down food before, I just need to do it again today.

Ok…wish me luck!

I had a feeling last week it was over but I wanted to give it one more week before I was sure.  Yup, with todays weigh in it proved the 6 weeks of hell are OVER!  I lost 2.4 last week! Now thats what I’m talking about baby!

 This means I am only 11.4 pounds away from goal.  Would someone pinch me?  How can *I* be only 11.4 pounds away from reaching what has been unreachable for me for years?  This weight has been more than just physical weight to me, it has been emotional baggage that I wont miss.  I am finally starting to accept I am *thin* again.  Skinny Chris?  No, not quite.  But this year for my girlie checkup my doctor cant call me fat. Yes, last December my doc called me fat to my face. This year will be my last year to use her.  But I plan on seeing her one more time just so I can see the look on her face when she sees me.  And I will be reminding her of what she said to me last year.  And I will dare her to pull out her BMI calculator and say something.  Because in 11.4 pounds I will be in the healthy range.  What is she gonna say then??

 I see things so different now.  I, for the first time in a very long time care about myself again.  I am wearing my makeup like I used too. In the past few years I wore just enough to make myself look presentable.  Now I want to look GOOOOOD!  I feel myself holding my head up a little higher and swhoosing my hair around a little more.  I like hearing folks tell me I look good when I havent seen them in a long time and they havent seen the new-old me. 

I *can* do this.  I will do this.  Will it be over in 11.4 pounds?  Nope, not even close. If anything, the real fight starts then.  But ya know what?  I will win this.  I know I am strong,  I am a good person and this will not defeat me. 

What is it with people constantly asking personal questions about your weight loss?  Just in the past few days I have been bombarded with questions that I just dont feel comfortable answering.  If these were close friends it would be one thing but a few have been people I only know by face.

At my yard sale Saturday a lady I know was here and asked was I trying to blow away.  That I didnt mind, I just laughed and said yes.  But the she asked “What are you gonna do after you lose it all”.  What the hell kinda question is that?  What do you mean what am I gonna do?  I am gonna stop living and sit in my house like a hermit!!  What do you mean what am I gonna do?  I am gonna enjoy myself alot more, thats how I will start.  And then I am gonna strut my stuff every chance I get.  And then after that I am gonna remind myself how long it took me to get where I am and be proud.  What did she think I was gonna do, start pigging out and gain every pound back in record time?  What kind of question is that?!?!

But let me add some cherry sauce to this conversation.  There was a man here too and I guess he was listening to us because he stopped and jumped in when she asked me that and very matter of factly said “Gain it all back”.  Again, WTH???!!!!  I looked at him and said very sternly “NO, I’m not”!  What a thing to say to someone you dont know.  How dare you even judge me like that when you dont even know me.  I just wanted him to leave and didnt care if he bought a thing!!

 And here are some others and my answers “How much weight have you lost?”  Enough.  “How much more do you have to lose?”  Enough.  “How much do you weigh now?”  Really, you are gonna ask me that?  “What size do you wear”?  Well, what size do you wear?

Arrgh!!  And those are just some of more polite ones.  Yes folks, I have lost weight.  But you have lost your manners!  While you are at it, why dont you just go ahead and ask me how old I am?

I guess I should start off telling you about me and my diet history so you can get to know me some. 

 I started gaining weight in my mid 20’s but it never got out of control until my divorce in 2003.  We actually split up in 2001 so you can see we had a long, ugly one.  I didnt work for a year so I sat in my house and lived off Miller Lite and cheese dip.  Let me says it does wonders for your waistline.  NOT!

 So one day I took a look at myself in the mirror and realized I had no idea who that was looking back at me.  I weighed 6 pounds short of 300!  How in the world did that happen???  All my life my family had called me Skinny Chris because I could eat anything and never gain a pound.  Yeah, well those were the good ol days.

 So I in late 2003 I decided I had to get myself back into shape, some other shape besides blob.  And without much effort I dropped around 45 pounds.  Ok, that was much better.  I am a tall gal so a little weigh wears well on me.  Or so I told myself at the time.

 Then when I started working again in 2004 I found another 32 pounds gone.  I was really happy and making it work for me.  I wasnt really following a diet but I was watching what I ate and it was working.

 But in Dec 2004 I met Mr Wonderful and fell in love.  He has to be the greatest gift in my life and arrived right when I needed him most.  So I quit smoking and within 3 months we moved in together.  Not a good combination!!  I was happy, in love and no longer had smoking to keep my mouth and hands busy.  So you guessed it, the weight started creeping back up.  Around 30 pounds of it.

 But once life settled I went on another diet (fall, 2006) and dropped it right back off.  I managed to keep it off for almost a year but the holidays last year took their toll and I found myself at 246 this January.

 And I told myself ENOUGH!  I refuse to go into my 40’s fat!  I have to get it off now while it’s easier (yeah, since when is it easy?)

So I joined Weight Watchers Jan. 10th and have stuck with it ever since.  I’ve lost a total of 61.4 pounds but have been on a stinking plateau for 5 weeks now and I am sick of it!!  It just seems like nothing I do will break it.  But I am holding in for the long fight!  I am only 15.6 pounds away from goal and I am gonna get there, do or die!  I was really shooting to have it off by Halloween but it doesnt look like that will happen.  I know its not a race but I wanted to have it gone by the holidays.

 Oh well, I will take it one day at a time and I thought by joining up here I could get some inspiration!  Thank you for having me and I cant wait to get to know you!

Christy