skinnychris

First, I want to say huge thanks and {{{hugs}}} to Stacey for her booster note!  I got it this morning when I woke up and its just what I needed! You made me laugh out loud! 

So after I stewed some more, which I seem to do quite well thankyouverymuch, I brought the whole thing up to Tom.  Seems like, once AGAIN we had a huge miscommunication.  Which I blame totally on him because he hates to talk.  LOL!  He would rather think it out inside his mind than talk to me. I do believe he thinks he can solve the worlds problems if he just worries about them.

First, I came right out and asked him what I was suppose to get.  And he finally told me it was a ring.  And so I asked him just how much did he expect to spend.  Well, needless to say it was ALOT more than I was expecting.  I dont know why or how he came up with this figure.  I am not a demanding person and to be honest, I would rather shop at Goodwill than Wal-Mart.  I am a cheapo by nature.  Yes, I wanted a nice ring.  But did I want to sell a kidney to get it?  NO!!

 So we talked and came to an understanding that he could still buy me a big ol honking ring without a big ol honking note! 

The ring I had originally picked out was at Sam’s.  I picked this thing out months ago but I guess he thought I was joking.  I wasnt.  I’m not into loud and flashy.  I wanted something simple and plain that I could always add to to celebrate our years together.

 So a friend of mine at work today mentioned Freidman’s was going out of business and having a huge sale.  So I told him.  Not expecting anything but I wanted to put it out there.  So after thinking about it for awhile he said lets go and see if we can find your ring.  And I did.  I had my own personal budget that I wasnt going to go over because I didnt want to do that to us.  And thanks to this sale I was under 325 bucks! 

I guess we both had something to prove to each other.  I needed to know he loved me.  yes, ok…I knew this but for him to give me a ring was what *I* needed.  And I guess he needed to see I could be happy for what it meant, not for how much it cost. 

 Call us crazy, 4 years together and still carrying baggage from our bad marriages.  But we are both happy tonight and I had to share with my buddies here.

 So here it is!  Please overlook my old looking hands!  The cold weather has already dried me out and I didnt have on lotion before we took this!! 

Oh, btw…I gained .8 pound this past week.  Do I care?  Not in the least bit.  I am one happy girl, a very happy in love girl tonight because my love is ready to show the world he loves me too!

so the picture wont link…I’ll keep trying!

http://skinnychris.buddyslim.com/files/2008/10/100_1371.jpg

Why do we have to wake up on the wrong side of the bed?  Why do our bodies say “Hey, self…lets just be in the shittiest mood ever and have a really nasty day today, mmmmmk?” 

That is what today has been all about.  I am on my pity pot all by myself and I’m not really sure why.  No hormones should be acting up right now but I’ve got it bad.  I have yet to find one positive thing to focus on today.  I have so much to be thankful for and all I can think about is all the bad stuff in my life. 

No, I take that back.  I know one cause for this.  For weeks my other half has been telling me we were going this weekend to get my Christmas present.  To let you guys in a on a little secret, I am a total Christmas freak.  I live, breathe (and yes) eat anything Christmas.  I plan for months in advance to make sure we have the perfect Christmas.  And I am also a big kid when it comes to Christmas.  He knows its a waste to try to surprise me because I will bug him to death until he either gives me my gift or tells me what it is.

So anyway, he brings it up last night and says something about ‘what he was going to get me’.  I look up and say uh oh, you said was.  So he starts telling me he just doesnt think we can afford what he wanted to get me this year.  And I am thinking what he wanted to get me (and what I have been wanting for a few years now) was a diamond ring.  Not a marriage proposal but something that proves to me that I do mean something to him.  That what we have is real and not just puppy love.  Yes, we have a wonderful life and a gorgeous house but I cant wear a house on my finger!

So here it is, a few days before what I was thinking was going to be the most spectacular weekend of my life and just like that, nothing.

And its not really the ring itself I am upset about…its the way he handled it.  He waits until a few days before to tell me this news.  So once again I am gonna get put on the back burner.  Its not like he doesnt know what I want, I just feel like he doesnt care.  So how can he just now figure out we cant afford it? 

I have busted my ass this year trying to lose this weight and I feel like why did I bother?    I didnt lose it for a ring, again I dont mean to sound like some greedy bitch but I think I deserve something special this year.  He is not an emotional or affectionate man by no means so I dont get alot of verbal support from him.  So something like that would finally convince me that he does truely love me (yes, I guess I have issues left over from two failed marriages).  But I guess its not gonna be this year either.

So I came in and ate some Almond Cresents cookies I’ve been eyeing at the dollar store for two weeks.  And tomorrow is weigh in.  I could honestly care less.

Wow, temps here have really fallen the past few days!  Its giving us a taste of whats to come.  I am already looking forward to the holidays and my family coming home.  The days are getting shorter too!

But the downside to this is that it kills my want to exercise.  When its cold out all I want to do is come home, put on my comfy warm clothes and pile up on the couch with a blanket. 

I havent been out to walk in two days now.  Ok, make that 3…I didnt go Sunday either; we werent home.  I could exercise indoors as I have a bike, an elliptical, a stability ball, 4 weights and 2 weighted balls.  So as you can see it really is for lack of want to.  I’m gonna have to shake this because it will be alot colder than this soon enough and I cant stop exercising for that reason.  We are expected to warm back up tomorrow and hopefully return to normal for a little while…or atleast until I can meet goal.

Speaking of, weigh-in is in less than 48 hours.  I havent been on the scales but something tells me (my weekend splurge does) I wont have much of a loss this week if any at all.  I really wish I would atleast hit 75 pounds lost so that I would get my 75 pound charm and maybe that would motivate me to be good the next week so that I can make goal.  I knew the last 10 would be hard…but the last 3 are even worse.

So I wrote my previous blog while munching on a Smart Ones for lunch, feeling good about myself and how far I have come.  So I ate some bad stuff this weekend but I am so close to goal it I’m not too tore up about it.

But now its two hours later and I am STARVING!  What is going on with me?  I have been reading here that others are feeling the same way this weekend.  I have tried cleaning the house, watching tv, reading blogs here…nothing is working.

I didnt wake up super hungry this morning and just ate my normal breakfast.  But I had to buy groceries and its like it woke something up in me.  Everything there looked so good and I had a tough time walking away from some stuff.  I just felt like I needed it.  But I knew it was getting close to lunch time and that my brain was telling me I was getting hungry.  So I ate as soon as I got home.  But the hunger hasnt stopped.  I am literally battling myself right now not to eat something I shouldnt.

Do you really think the weather does this to us?  I keep hearing about our bodies adjusting to the cold and needing to store extra fat to stay warm.  I’ve always thought that was just a way to convince ourselves its ok to eat like a pig but maybe there is something to it. 

I’ve got to do something and quick or I am really gonna binge.

I know I wont meet goal this week now.  And I am ok with that!  I spent this weekend enjoying myself, spending time with friends and eating!  What can I say, its that time of the year! LOL!

We went out for pizza Thursday night and yesterday we had Chinese.  Last night I had dip and beer.  These are foods I have still eaten while on program but these times I didnt hold back.  I needed some comfort food and it did me a world of good.  Probably not physically but thats ok. 

I am still excited to see what will happen Thursday at weigh in.  I know I wont have such a huge loss as the past two weeks and thats probably a good thing because it was trying to come off a little fast.  I am so close and this will be a lifetime commitment so I’m gonna start enjoying myself more.  Not necessarily by overeating but learn to see what life is gonna be like now while maintaining my weight!

But I lost 3.8 pounds this past week. 

I’m not complaining but all the sudden my last 10 pounds have decided to fall off me, literally!  That means I am 3.2 pounds away from WW’s goal for me!  I am excited, but scared.  I dont think I have mentally prepared myself for this.  I mean I have but I havent.  Do you know what I mean?  Oh wow!  Its really this close!  I never thought I would get here. 

So its the night before my weigh in and of course I am going thru my normal ups and downs.  It seems like my body knows Thursday is my weigh in and waits until over night Wednesday night to drop the weight!!  Thursdays always seem to be a surprise, lets hope its a good surprise tomorrow!  I know I have eaten well all week and exercised like a mad fool but after that plateau I still get nervous the night before. 

Between the cooler air (think comfort food) and talk about the holidays (family in, lots of cooking, think more comfort food) I have had a tough couple of days.  Not tough in eating on program but tough keeping my thoughts on program!  It seems like I am craving all sorts of foods that I dont normally crave and that I know are not good for me.  But its all I have thought about this entire week.  A girl I work with today baked and brought in a chocolate chip pie and while I’m not crazy about chocolate, it was calling my name!  I cut a piece off around the size of the tip of my finger (a bite I would say) to try it and while it was good, it wasnt as good as my mind was telling me it would be.  No wonder folks gain weight during the holidays!

Anyhoo, wish me luck tomorrow! 

 These are my all time favorite snack food!  Christmas comes early this year for me!  I cant wait until I see them in the stores!!

And I just found this link!  They are going to have strawberry cupcakes too!!!!!

http://www.hostesscakes.com/100/weight.html

The light at the end of the tunnel, that is!!

I lost an amazing 3.2 pounds last week!  Maybe not being able to chew is a good thing!! LOL!

Anyway, needless to say I was completely shocked and it took weighing on 3 different scales to convince me that yes, my body let go of 3.2 pounds of unwanted, not needed fat!  Yes, I am still having a hard time eating but I know its more than that.  It my willpower and exercise that I am so strict with right now showing itself off!  This shows me that when I get 100% into it, everything else follows.

I am now exactly 7 pounds from goal.  I cannot believe it.  How many times have I attempted this only to fail?  But I refuse to dwell on that long because I am almost there.  I can see a faint glow at the end of that very long tunnel. 

I think its getting brighter…

I dont like chocolate, I really dont.  I can go months at a time and never once give it a thought.  I guess I am lucky.  But why does PMS automatically make a woman crave it?

I keep mini’s in the house for Tom (my man, not my time of the month! LOL).  He takes them in his lunch for snacks while out on the road.  And I can pass by the bowl day after day and think nothing of them.  In fact I bought 2 bags while at Wal-Mart Sunday and refilled his bowl.  Again, no problem.  But tonight they are in there calling my name.  Snickers and Reece’s are pretending to be my friend but I know they want to stick to my hips and laugh at me. 

I will not give in, I am strong (and weigh in is tomorrow morning).  But would it hurt anything to sniff them??