skinnychris

I live in a teeny tiny town, out in the country.  So finding a safe place (safe place meaning not getting ran over or hit!) to walk is not a easy task.  I used to walk the road that runs behind my house but its not populated so between the wild dogs and deer hunters shooting, I stopped feeling safe early on.  So I moved on to a neighborhood in town and then stopped feeling safe there due to an overly friendly man on the corner and his vicious dog that almost bit me one time!  Needless to say I stopped walking there too.

So there was a new neighborhood that went up around our city park this year.  You would think they would have put in sidewalk but I digress.  Anyway, the road is newly paved so its easy to walk on and it has just enough hills to challenge me.  I walk 2.8 miles and can do this is 45 minutes.

But there is a lady that lives in one of the houses that likes to come out for a chat.  She is really nice and new to our state so I know she is just trying to make a friend.  But not while I am trying to work up a sweat!  A simple ‘hi’ doesnt cut it, she wants to chit chat while I want to walk.  She caught me today and it was 15 minutes before I got away from her!  And if her hubby is home?  Well, I might as well pull up a chair!!

So I am trying to figure out whether to tolerate this and some how avoid her by going earlier in the afternoon or finding another neighborhood to walk in.  But again, this town is small so there really arent many other places.    I really dont want to hurt her feelings but I cant deal with being interrupted.  She caused me today to have to cut my walk short because I couldnt get finished before dark.

Alright, enough of my gripe.  I have been so busy I havent been able to check in much but I want to say hi to my buddies and thanks for the booster notes and replies!  You guys have helped me so much already and I know I can do this!  In fact I am thrilled once again to be where I am.  Can I brag and tell ya I bought a pair of size 10 dress slack yesterday??

And even though I have been super good I am not looking for a good weigh in Thursday.  Even though it seems like last week was everyone’s TOM, mine is this week.  I am lucky, I only have to deal with it a couple of times a year and I decided I needed to let it happen now before the holidays get here.  That’s enough stress by itself!!!  And I am one of those that completely blimp up so I am sure the water will get me Thursday.  But since I’ve stayed on track I know once he packs his bags and moves on to the next unlucky gal out there I will have a nice loss then!

Just when I was about ready to call it quits, throw in the towel and say to hell with it all my body surprises me and drops 1.6 pounds!  I once again was doing the happy dance in my meeting!!  That only leaves 10 pounds til goal!  I really think I can do this now, this loss has really pumped up my motivation and I can see the light at the end of that proverable tunnel!!!

But while I was in my meeting today I was looking around the room.  I started the 2nd week in January when everyone was in full resolution mode.  It was standing room only but after a few weeks the room thinned out and we had a comfortable group of regulars and started to get to know each other, formed those weight loss bonds.

So anyway, back to today…I was looking around the room at the very few (9) people there and realized there is not one original person there from when I started in January.  Not that these folks have met goal, they just quit I guess.  And I tried to imagine if I had just quit.  Where would I be now?

I sure wouldnt be 67 pounds lighter than I was this time last year.  And I sure wouldnt be 10 pounds away from goal.  I wouldnt be in a size 12 and I wouldnt be walking with my head high and on occassion checking myself out in store front windows! LOL!

I would be very unhappy, refusing to have my picture taken, refusing to participate in life ( I am walking in the Race for the Cure Saturday, I would have never done this 67 pounds ago), and I would look at myself with disgust and unhappiness that I let another year go by being large.

So while I am not there yet, I am close enough to keep me going on.  Am I gonna have a bad day over the next few weeks? Oh you can count on it.  But I cant stop and I refuse to go back.  This time next month I will be even closer to goal…or who knows? I might get lucky and be there already.  But I WILL do this!

So I got past the dental work…well almost.  Its very hard to eat right now which I’m not sure is a bad thing! LOL!  I just have to take it nice and slow and mush my food up more with my tongue than my teeth but it gets the trick done.

I snuck in a peek at the scales this morning and much to my suprise (not) they havent moved.  While I thought I was plateau busted I guess not.  But I’m not so sure this is a body created plateau or me just not being 100%.  I seem to do really well but the weekends are my downfall.  And it used to be that I could splurge a little on the weekends and it not hurt me but that is no more.  Every little thing hurts me!!

I am excited but scared to see what my official weigh in Thursday says and I plan on talking to my leader afterward.  Its funny that I fought so hard to break that plateau just a few short weeks ago and now that I have I cant find my motivation to get to goal.  Again, I think its because I am happy where I am now.

Last week I broke down and ate at the fish fry.  And man was it good!!  But I bounced right back on Sunday and got back on program.  I exercised and ate good and did all I was suppose to do and at weigh in Thursday, I gained.  4/10th of a pound, not alot but I gained.  I really thought it was fluid so I didnt get all upset or anything.  But then that night my dear sweet Tom was craving Chinese so I went along with it.

 I’ve got to have alot of dental work done Monday due to some issues with an ex using my face as a punching bag years back so its quite extensive and I’m sure I wont be able to eat much for a few days.  So Thursday night was acceptable in my book.  I got right back on track Friday, exercised and was doing fine.  Until yesterday when we went to my hometown for their annual fall festival.

 I stayed away from the fried Twinkies and funnel cakes, even as Tom ate his.  But we had passed a Mazzio’s on the way into town and it was stuck in my head.  So yup, we ate pizza.

The thing is, I dont feel guilty about any of this.  Truth be told, I am pretty happy where I am right now, size wise.  But WW’s is telling me I’ve got to lose another 12 pound to meet their goal.  And I’m not really sure I want to lose another 12.  Tom really likes the way I look, *I* really like the way I look.  He took some pictures of me yesteray while I was plucking a pumpkin out of our patch.  And darn it, I looked good!  That was the first time I had seen myself in pictures since Christmas last year and was shocked at how much smaller I am.  I *know* I am in a size 12 but its hard to see it in a mirror. 

 So I dont know what to do.  I’m not going off program but I’m a little torn on whether to attempt their goal or just be where I am, atleast thru the holidays. 

I think I’m gonna see what Thursday’s weigh in says and take it from there.