Decision week ahead
I need to say thanks to Becky, Holly, Debra, Nancy, Bette Jo and Dee for the comments on my blog last night. Everyone of you in your own way have given me alot to think about. Becky, you are right. I need to get back to Curves (or somewhere else…I’ll explain that in a minute) and get back to my exercise routine. I miss it more than I thought, in a way it turned into a drug for me. The high I was getting after a good workout was the best. Debra made me think about my job. I do have a certain few friends at work but they are few and far between. I have never worked anywhere that has so many back-stabbing, two faced people as where I work now. Thats why I dont socialize much. One wrong word and even look and you are the gossip de’jure of the day. I just cant get into that. So thats why I just make sure I do what is expected of me and stay out of the rest. Right now they are planning a shower for a girl who has never liked me (she was friends with a girl who used to work for me that I had to fire. You can figure out the rest) and hasnt even uttered a word to me since Halloween. But its expected of me to cook a dish and buy a gift just because we work together?!?!? Uhm, no.
So here is where I am today. I did attend my meeting and I was up 1.3 pounds. Thats ok, I really thought it was gonna be alot worse. I wanted to talk to my leader today about my feelings but we had a new member and I couldnt bump her and the attention she needed. I felt great while I was there. There are only 6-8 of us at this meeting and we are all a bunch of crazy, living for the weekend women. So we had alot of laughs about our stories of the long weekend. So I do feel like I *got* something out of it. But it didnt keep me from coming home, buying some beer and eating leftover hot sausage cheesedip! Yup, I caved and ate that shit. And ya know what, I dont feel any better. Well, it wasnt emotional eating so I knew it wouldnt help me any but it just didnt do anything for me. I think I wanted it because the old me wanted it. How stupid is that?
Now, the gym part. Just south of me (but not in the city where I work or live) the hospital has opened a new wellness center. For a family (in this case Tom and myself) the monthly membership is 55 bucks. Very affordable and it would be for both of us. But Tom cant make up his mind if he wants to join. And to be honest, I love this man but I know this man!! He might go at first but he never commits. Come on, we have been together for 5 years and I just got my ring 6 months ago! LOL!!! He will come in one day, say he needs to lose 10 lbs. Eats good, works out on my elliptical or goes for a bike ride and then goes to bed. Its all forgotten about when he wakes up and if I mention it he says he is fine. But I dont want to tell him no in case he really means it this time. So until he really commits I think I’m just gonna buy one month of Curves and see what happens after that. I know the owner is gonna do her best to get me to sign a contract but it wont happen. And if she gets cross with me I can always go to the Curves south of my town and workout there.
I have one week to decide about WW’s. I know after my bitchfest last night it sounds stupid now to say but I still really want to make their goal. I really want to know I did it. I dont want to quit, I am not a quitter. So please, and I am being serious for anyone reading this. Tell me how to find my gusto that I had last year at 246 pounds? I had ALOT more weight to lose, had the same battles to fight, the same weekend temptations but yet I survived them. I lost every week from Jan 10th to July 4th. And I only gained 1.6 pounds that weekened because I did splurge big time. Tell me how to wake up and say I am gonna do it and mean it? Yes, looking the way I want to look now has alot to do with why I’m not so strict anymore. I dont want to lose another clothing size. But I know I could still take 10 more pounds off my belly and out of my ass and make my size now fit even better!!!!
So here is it. I am down to crunch time. How I do this week will be my deciding factor as to whether I keep attending meetings or not. If I dont, I will stick with the program but at my own pace and maybe stay where I am indefinitely. I have a week to prove to myself I can either do it or I will have to accept the 170’s are where I will remain.
And the clock starts ticking…
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Chris, I know what you are saying all too well ! I know that htere is strength wthin you to fight these last 10 lbs. ! It’s like the fact that i let myself go back to my starting weight almost two years ago !Now I know it’s time to get serious about it not only because I want to llok good but because I know that I am worth fighting to save and so are you ! Thank you for your comment on my blog too ! You awoke the sleeping dogs that want to bite the old coworkers that were mean and said or did something to me! A Lady that I used to work withand funny enough her name was Chris , said here’s how you have to think about work ! You go there do your job then go home because otherwise you are setting yourself up ! Maybe she’s rigth then again who knows because I always want to be frinds with everyone and 9 times out of 10 I get my feelings hurt because I wear my flippn’ heart on my sleeve ! I will pray that you will make the right decision for you and that God points you there with a big Neon sign LOL ! Hugs, kimmi
I wish I could offer some words of wisdom on this one. I can’t. BOO
you can do it! Stay with the program if it motivates you & if it’s been working for you. Do what’s best & most beneficial to you. GOod luck! Wow you have lost a lot of weight so far though! As motivation, I would just remember my
My husband has a membership and NEVER goes so I say just join and if he goes then great–if not then who cares.
You need to stop that beer!! When I drink I never lose, seriously. I have wanted a drink all week but haven’t given in b/c I want a loss SO bad.
Hmmm….I think you need to really think about what you WANT to do. I rejoined WW last week and I am doing what I did before. I got the new info and now I am going to follow the plan without going to the meetings.
I never went to the meetings the first time and I am not sure I will now. Last week’s first meeting really did not have the support group I was seeking. There were no positive or negative stories to be heard. It was pretty much the instructor’s ideas and “See ya, next week.”
What you need to know is…do you have the desire to do it and can you do it on your own. That is the bottom line. You have to want it!! And want it bad enough not to quit.
Stuck? Figure out something new to change it up. If you want it bad enough, you can do it! And if you need a cheering section or a push to move you…come here! We can help!
I want to help you move on. I want you to reach your goal! I know you can do it!
You came this far!
Thank you for the shoutout. I really didnt know a lot about your job, but if people are that way–you dont need it. Somewhere, out there, there is a place for you that will fill your heart and help you meet people that are better for you. Half smile–interested in where your thoughts and god will lead you.
Boy, can I relate about the gym–hubby and I joined but guess who went. I went for a bit on my own but eventually stopped and now workout at home.
Girl, I’m so rooting for you. They say that last ten pounds or so are a bitch to lose. I dont know, I have so far to go–but, I have faith that if you set your mind to it..those 10 lbs would be history now! I dream of being where you are one day…thank you for inspiring us!
Ahhhhhhhhh, lovin’ the love.
Joining Curves is a great idea until you make up your mind.
I don’t know how these programs, like WW works because I can never afford these programs. But I do want to say, stick with what works for you.
I’m the only one who is a member of the gym because no one including Rod cares about their health. Do you babe.
Girl you just have to figure out what is right for you!
I have a job like that. I am so lucky that I don’t have to go in there much. I am a bus monitor for special needs preschoolers and I get picked up and dropped off at home. I only go in when there is a meeting or once in a great while and I mean great while to go out to lunch with my hubby! My hubby is the dispatcher/office manager. The people I work with are not very nice. I have a reputation as the Bitch! I have turned people in for sexual and racial comments. I have even heard people say as I walk in the door “Watch what you say, now, Bette Jo is here!” It use to bother me, but it doesn’t any more! I figure I didn’t do anything wrong and what do I care if people like that like me or not!
Hope everything turns out okay!
Big HUGS!
Girlie…I wish I knew where to find that gusto…cause Id take my portion and send it on to you my friend! We are gonna keep looking til we find it tho.
Good luck on your decisions…you will make the best one for you!
Oh…and that baby shower…yea, NO!!! Read my finger…N-O! Dont do it…I hate that office crap!