skinnychris

Argh!  I am bloated and have no idea why!  I mean I cant wiggle my fingers!  The scales are up over 4 pounds and its not even TOM, that was last week!

So who knows.  I know its not a gain because I havent done anything to cause one.  I was so scared last week after hitting goal that it wasnt true that I weighed myself daily.  But yesterday morning it started creeping up and this morning WHAM! 

I have drank enough today that soon I might need to be fitted for Depends.   Something I have eaten had to have been full of sodium.  Cant recall right now what but there is so much in everything there is no telling.  But, and I hope this isnt the case, sometimes I bloat up right before I get sick.  NOT a good thing.  I dont feel sick but I know it happens.  I have no idea why either.  I guess to have something to sweat off when the fever get up.  All I can do is hope tomorrow morning I wake up fine and not so blimped up.

So maintenance starts Thursday and I am ready!  I need to know exactly what I will have to do next.  I have read that you start adding points back in but I would like to lose around 5 pounds more for the upcoming holidays.  Guess I’ll know more after my meeting.

Well, thats about it.  I just got a call from work so I gotta log in and do some work.  Later buddies!!

And buddies, after months and months of failure, I finally found success

 I MADE GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 *sigh*  I am still basking in the glory and really not believing it.

So where have I been?  Well, to make a long story short I am an obsessive person.  I find something and I have to study it, analyze it and break it down.  Know the insides and outsides, the whys and hows.  And that is where I had gotten with the last 10 pounds I needed to lose (which had actually turned into 13 by the time I got serious again).  So I finally realized to do this, to get it off once and for all I just had to take a step back and let it happen.  I had to quit forcing myself to live diet every day, never allowing myself to think about anything else and double guessing every morsel I ate or every move I made in the gym.

So in other words I decided to relax.  Take a breath.  Just be.

The first week I lost 3 and a half pounds.  The second I lost 3.  Then it just became slow and steady, exactly what I needed.  And now here I am.  At my goal. 

I have missed you guys more than you know but BS stopped being an outlet for me and became a part of my weight loss obsession.  So I had to let it go too.  But I stopped by alot and lurked alot and even posted once about Dozer but as you see I didnt mention much about anything else, ie: diet.  Funny, I took a vacation from my diet/lifestyle change and I got to goal.  In a way that is very messed up!  If I had just stopped stressing for the past 10 month I could have already been there.  But thats not for me to dwell on anymore.

But let me add this before I sign off.  I honestly believe it took me this wrong for a reason.  I believe I had to go thru this to truly find myself and the reason why I wanted to lose weight…and it was a hellavu lot more than just vanity!  But my weight loss was more than losing actual body fat and I think I am a better person in alot of other ways too now.  I had alot to learn about myself apparently.  And one day I will share but tonight I celebrate!  But not with food!!!  :-) 

Love all you guys!  Never quit, never stop.  Keep smiling!