skinnychris

And buddies, after months and months of failure, I finally found success

 I MADE GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 *sigh*  I am still basking in the glory and really not believing it.

So where have I been?  Well, to make a long story short I am an obsessive person.  I find something and I have to study it, analyze it and break it down.  Know the insides and outsides, the whys and hows.  And that is where I had gotten with the last 10 pounds I needed to lose (which had actually turned into 13 by the time I got serious again).  So I finally realized to do this, to get it off once and for all I just had to take a step back and let it happen.  I had to quit forcing myself to live diet every day, never allowing myself to think about anything else and double guessing every morsel I ate or every move I made in the gym.

So in other words I decided to relax.  Take a breath.  Just be.

The first week I lost 3 and a half pounds.  The second I lost 3.  Then it just became slow and steady, exactly what I needed.  And now here I am.  At my goal. 

I have missed you guys more than you know but BS stopped being an outlet for me and became a part of my weight loss obsession.  So I had to let it go too.  But I stopped by alot and lurked alot and even posted once about Dozer but as you see I didnt mention much about anything else, ie: diet.  Funny, I took a vacation from my diet/lifestyle change and I got to goal.  In a way that is very messed up!  If I had just stopped stressing for the past 10 month I could have already been there.  But thats not for me to dwell on anymore.

But let me add this before I sign off.  I honestly believe it took me this wrong for a reason.  I believe I had to go thru this to truly find myself and the reason why I wanted to lose weight…and it was a hellavu lot more than just vanity!  But my weight loss was more than losing actual body fat and I think I am a better person in alot of other ways too now.  I had alot to learn about myself apparently.  And one day I will share but tonight I celebrate!  But not with food!!!  :-) 

Love all you guys!  Never quit, never stop.  Keep smiling!