Or will we? 

I’m not gonna lie to ya, yes I probably will be one of those folks!  I am working like a mad fool right now to lose some extra weight so that I will have some wiggle room in my jeans!  No, I guess thats not the right way to be thinking since I just hit my goal but doggone it, I love Thanksgiving!!!!

I dont plan on going in and inhaling plate after plate of the good stuff but I do plan on enjoying and not regretting in the morning.  So far I have lost 3.2 pounds under goal and I would like to see that much more gone over the next two weeks.  So I am being vigilant about staying on program right now and will reward myself with some eggnog and my mom’s dressing on T-day.

What do you plan on doing?  Will you let Thanksgiving be your splurge day or do you plan on staying on track?  I am curious to hear what others are planning.

I’m not really having any hunger/overeating issues, I am still playing around with points, etc.  But I feel like I have been in jail for the past 2 years and now I have been let out back into the world with no place to go and no job.  I feel very lost.

I was told this is normal but I dont like it.  I have found that WW’s is great for losing but not worth shit for maintaining.  I mean their instruction and such.  They need meetings just for lifetimers.  And alot more material. 

So what I have said all along about losing the weight is the easiest part, well its true.  Keeping it off will be the hardest.  I’ve just got to figure it all out.  Thank goodness I have a good leader who is willing to answer my panic ridden text messages and emails at any time of the day.

But dont get me wrong, I am very thankful to be where I am so dont think otherwise.  I’m just very scared.  Its so easy to gain, dont we all know that!?! 

Take care my buddies!

So who knows.  I know its not a gain because I havent done anything to cause one.  I was so scared last week after hitting goal that it wasnt true that I weighed myself daily.  But yesterday morning it started creeping up and this morning WHAM! 

I have drank enough today that soon I might need to be fitted for Depends.   Something I have eaten had to have been full of sodium.  Cant recall right now what but there is so much in everything there is no telling.  But, and I hope this isnt the case, sometimes I bloat up right before I get sick.  NOT a good thing.  I dont feel sick but I know it happens.  I have no idea why either.  I guess to have something to sweat off when the fever get up.  All I can do is hope tomorrow morning I wake up fine and not so blimped up.

So maintenance starts Thursday and I am ready!  I need to know exactly what I will have to do next.  I have read that you start adding points back in but I would like to lose around 5 pounds more for the upcoming holidays.  Guess I’ll know more after my meeting.

Well, thats about it.  I just got a call from work so I gotta log in and do some work.  Later buddies!!

 I MADE GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 *sigh*  I am still basking in the glory and really not believing it.

So where have I been?  Well, to make a long story short I am an obsessive person.  I find something and I have to study it, analyze it and break it down.  Know the insides and outsides, the whys and hows.  And that is where I had gotten with the last 10 pounds I needed to lose (which had actually turned into 13 by the time I got serious again).  So I finally realized to do this, to get it off once and for all I just had to take a step back and let it happen.  I had to quit forcing myself to live diet every day, never allowing myself to think about anything else and double guessing every morsel I ate or every move I made in the gym.

So in other words I decided to relax.  Take a breath.  Just be.

The first week I lost 3 and a half pounds.  The second I lost 3.  Then it just became slow and steady, exactly what I needed.  And now here I am.  At my goal. 

I have missed you guys more than you know but BS stopped being an outlet for me and became a part of my weight loss obsession.  So I had to let it go too.  But I stopped by alot and lurked alot and even posted once about Dozer but as you see I didnt mention much about anything else, ie: diet.  Funny, I took a vacation from my diet/lifestyle change and I got to goal.  In a way that is very messed up!  If I had just stopped stressing for the past 10 month I could have already been there.  But thats not for me to dwell on anymore.

But let me add this before I sign off.  I honestly believe it took me this wrong for a reason.  I believe I had to go thru this to truly find myself and the reason why I wanted to lose weight…and it was a hellavu lot more than just vanity!  But my weight loss was more than losing actual body fat and I think I am a better person in alot of other ways too now.  I had alot to learn about myself apparently.  And one day I will share but tonight I celebrate!  But not with food!!!  :-) 

Love all you guys!  Never quit, never stop.  Keep smiling!

But Becky deserves this because she always wanted to know what was up with the Dozer drama.  Well girl, today was the day!  He is OURS!!!  We held out, did what we needed to do and Dude finally today officially gave him to us.  Cant chat alot now but here he is.  Well, where he was.  This was taken in July (my camera has a dead battery right now so I cant show you current) but he is happy and HOME with the parents who love him.  Going in next week to get *his batteries* removed and get a check-up.  But right now he is where he has been for 5 months, on his bed in my bedroom snoring while sleeping flat on his back!  But he is no longer an orphan and is more so than ever, a full fledged Robinson!

Yup, I have cried.  And I think in a way he knew too because he has been a booger all night long and tried to push me to ends of sanity.  But thats ok.  He is gonna be ok.  We love him and he loves us.  And thats enough, right?

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r241/Christy_Tom/dozer-1.jpg

Guess what is NOT getting in a rush to heal?  Yup, you guessed it.  My ass!!  I am all sorts of a nasty blackish/blueish color back there and its starting to run downhill!  Most of the swelling is gone but I do have a fierce knot in the left side of the uhm…well crack!!!

But I said I would not let it get me down and I havent.  Been going to the gym and working the upper body.  Now its laugh time, I do take my butt pillow.  I walked in loud and proud Tuesday and held it up to the trainer and said “I am working out with a buddy today!”.  She just looked at me and asked me what I did.  Thank goodness everyone there has been super great about it all and we have shared quite a few laughs.  And let me give you a word of advice.  If you ever bust your tailbone, get one of those flight/neck pillows. Not really sure what you call them but they kinda look like a horseshoe.  When flying you put it around your neck with the open part being in the front under your chin?  Know what I am talking about?  Well, when you bust your ass and crack places in your crack that shouldnt be cracked (just say no to crack), just turn it around and place the open area under your ass and volia’!  You have an ass pillow!  No pain, no pressure!  Just me…and my ass pillllllllooooooowww!!! 

Yes, I am pretty goofy tonight because I have to make fun or I cry.  I am not sleeping because it hurts like hell to roll over.  Plus I am a back sleeper and cannot stand even a sheet to touch my backside.  Maybe that is whats wrong, sleep deprived.  

Anyhoo, not much to report diet wise.  I have been a very good girl but gonna have fun this weekend.  And I really hope everyone does.  When I started on this diet Jan of 2008 I lost weight every week until July 4th weekend.  It was my first gain and I gained 1.8 pounds.  And I was proud of myself that I went that long without gaining and even then it wasnt that much.  So I’m not gonna beat myself up over this weekend either.  Wow, its really been a year already since then?

Becky, I had new photos of Dozer to show you but my so called smartphone isnt being so smart tonight.  I was emailing them to myself and it shut down.  So I will try again but I will probably have to pull out my cables and sync them to my laptop.  But I am tired and dont wanna mess with it tonight.  He is still great, HUGE but great.  And we are gonna try to convince him to go ahead and let us have him, free and clear.  He is here full time and I want to get him trained and under a vets care.  Tom is gonna try to catch him again this weekend, he is never at home even so how can he take care of him?!?  In the meantime though he is under the coffee table chewing on a rawhide as I type.  We are training him to ride in a car and he is loving it!  You should see his big ear flopping in the wind!

Ok, I gotta stop typing.  I need to go soak my rear and try to sleep.  Everyone have a great weekend but be safe!!!  HAPPY 4TH!!!

After I threw up…and about 20 minutes later I was able to finally get up off the floor.  But the pain, I cannot describe.  If it wasnt for my sky high insurance deductible I would have gone to the ER right then.  But I didnt and was up all night hurting.  Yesterday was somewhat better but today has been bad.  I am pretty sure my tailbone isnt broken but I am very swollen and badly bruised back there.  I cant sit long, cant stand long and walking sends a shooting pain right my crack.  So I wont be hitting the gym for a few days. 

But besides that I think I am doing good!  I finally beat the afternoon munchies, I took Holly’s advice and started coming in from work and getting busy.  I plan on cleaning a room every afternoon during the week whether it needs it or not.  If its not too hot I can always go out and clean the pool or work in the garden.   Anything to keep me away from the kitchen!  Unless its the day to clean it! LOL!  And another thing I am starting today, no matter what time Tom gets in from work I am starting supper at 5:30 every day.  I just cant wait any later and let myself get crazy out of control hungry anymore.  He says he is ok with that and if he must he will start eating a can of soup or tv dinner if need be.   He doesnt always have to work as late as he has been but this is their busy season.  But what I do plan on trying to do is making something that I can either keep warm or warm up easily for him when he does get home. 

This weekend is gonna be a booger on me diet wise.  We have parties every night starting Thursday.  Right now I only plan on splurging Saturday.  That will be my bonus for staying on track the other times.  But Sunday, July 5th it is ON!!  I have enjoyed my time away from my diet and had alot of fun with my lifestyle change but I really need to start working on this last bit of weight.  It never fails, once the 4th passes I blink and its the holidays.  And I do not want to go into them above goal.  I know there are gonna be parties and good times between now and the fall but right now getting this weight off is about to become top priority.

Ok, I gotta get.  Time to go soak in the tub and try to get rid of this sore ass!  I need to be in the gym, not sitting on a donut cushion!  Laugh away, I know I have been laughing at myself this entire time!  And you can only imagine the jokes I have heard!!

Take care buddies!!!

The float itself went waaay to quick.  The water was up and rolling and we had to keep stopping on gravel bars so that we didnt end up at the pick up too soon.  So we did alot of playing in the water and it was COLD!  58 degrees!  And when its 100 out that 58 feels even colder on your skin.  All in all it was a great time but I sure wish I could do it again but slow it all down.

Now…what do I need help with?  My afternoon binging.  It has gotten completely out of control.  It has always been a issue with me but now I feel myself slipping into a place I dont want to be.  I get off work at 3:30 normally.  That gets me home 4-4:15.  And Tom doesnt get in most nights until 6.  So that gives me two hours to graze the kitchen until we eat supper.  I had gotten a pretty good handlel on it but not anymore. I hit the door ready to pig out.  And I start off good.  Maybe a high protein granola bar.  But then I move on to something else, and then another and the next thing you know I have used up all my supper points and then some.  And normally I feel sick afterward.

One thing I am gonna try to start doing is eat something right before I leave work.  Maybe that will feel the void in my belly.  Because I am truly hungry.  I’m not sure if the exercise before lunch is causing me to burn up my lunch quicker but normally by the time I get off my belly is growling.  Which is only around 2 and half hours as I eat at 1-1:30.  But I know if I dont get this stopped I am gonna start gaining.  There is no way I can continue to binge and not.

And thats another thing. Even though *I know* that eating like that is gonna make me gain, it doesnt stop me.  So what is wrong with my brain?!?!?

But besides that I do great during the rest of the day.  I’m fine in the mornings, during the day and even late at night.  But those damn afternoons!  I’ve even thought about going to the gym after work instead of at lunch but technically the gym doesnt open until 4 in the afternoons.  I can get in but I dont feel comfortable doing that, if something came up missing or torn up, fingers would point at me.

So any advice you guys have would be more than greatly appreciated.  I am at my wits end, I know I am the only one who can stop it but I seem to be forgetting how!

Plus I am going alot skinner than I did two years ago!  I am gonna get out there and flaunt it baby!  Ok, as well as I can in a pair of swim shorts and a halter top!  LOL!  River floating is not exactly bikini friendly…not that I will probably ever wear one of those again!  But still, I wont be worrying about my bat wings flapping or my big ass not fitting in the canoe seat!  And I’ll have less area to sunblock!  >:-}

But one downer to all this, I have hurt my knee again.  I dont know what is going on.  I am super careful on the machines at Curves that could potentially hurt it but yet this afternoon I found myself limping.  My right one is the bad one but I even found the left one bothering me a little bit tonight, probably from it taking the brunt of the right one hurting and me giving to it.  I can not even squat without pain and it has alot of heat coming out of it tonight so that means I have inflammation down in the joint.  Time for some cold/hot therapy and hope like hell its better before the float.  I will be skipping anything at the gym tomorrow that involves using my knees.

Becky, before I forget…Dozer is doing great!  He is pretty much an inside dog now while we are home.  Not an accident one either.  He will wake us up and let us know he needs to go out.  And he still likes to be out during the day but when the sun goes down he is on the porch begging to be let in.  Right now he is laying on his side, looking like he is asleep but he actually has a rawhide in his mouth and he is chewing on it.  He snores like a bear and I normally have to get up and rearrange his head.  And man has he grown over the past month!  Between the good food and the vitamins I guess his system has kicked back in and started bulking him up. And he was a HUGE hit at the party the other night.  Everyone love him and he got no sleep either.  As Tom and I slept Sunday away, Doze was right on the floor in front of me snoring his head off!  I have a picture I promise I will post here soon.

Karin, good to see you back!  I have wondered how your trip went!  I did read you blog today but didnt get to comment.  But I agree with the learning to live part more than constantly worrying about the diet.  I came to the same realization while you were gone.  

Ok, I gotta get.  30 minutes with an ice pack and then off to a hot bath before I crawl into bed and start tomorrow.  Only 4 hours at work tomorrow, a quick workout and we are outta here!  Everyone have a great weekend and I’ll see ya next week when we get back!  {{{Hugs}}}

We had a crazy, fun filled weekend around here.  Saturday my neighbors had their annual summer kick off party which always ends up over in our backyard, around the pool.  But this year it went until 4 am!!!  But we had a blast!  I have been working on cleaning up for the past two days! LOL!  Ok, more today than yesterday.  Yesterday was more of a day of recovery!  I can really feel my age after a good night of partying!

And now I am working like crazy to get everything together for this upcoming weekend, our float trip!  I am so excited to be able to get away for awhile.  First time really in two years. So I am gonna get all my stressing over with because Thursday at noon I am on full vacation mode! 

Curves is going really good still.  I did miss Friday due to the severe storms that moved thru our area.  There was no way in the world I was leaving the safety of my office while there was tornadoes and 80 mph winds blowing around outside!  And I wont make it today because I am working from home.  I could run down the one right below my house but I dont have a travel pass.  I asked for one last week and never got it.  I’m not sure they would let me in without it.  But after cleaning house and the pool area today I am feeling energized and I would like to go burn some off.  And I need to burn some beer, burgers, cheesedip, etc off to from that party Saturday night! 

And this weekend will be another round of bad eating and beer drinking but once it passes I wont have anything planned until the 4th of July.  So thats my next plan of attack, Curves every business day and no pigging until then.  Surely I can undo anything I have done by then.  I’m still staying away from the scales but I dont think I have done too bad because my clothes are still fitting fine.  Too tight pants means I have over done it and it so far they are ok.

And speaking of summer it has arrived here in full force.  We had horrible nasty storms every day since last Thursday but now they are drying up and we are headed to the 100’s.  Thats good news for the pumpkins since alot of the garden is flooded.  I do have a few hills that didnt bud out so I bet the seed got too wet.  I’ll replant those this week.

So anyway, thats about it for whats going on in my world. Hope everyone is doing good!!