skinnychris

Hey buddies!  Another quickie before I head out to the garden.  While jacking around with the pool yesterday afternoon I left the soaker hose on too long and flooded my garden!  So now I’ve got to get out there and repair my damaged pumpkin hills.  All that hard work and I go and screw it up!  Plus I gotta get the pool ready for the storms blowing in later tonight.  Geez, what a mess its gonna be tomorrow.  Bleech!  But atleast I did get to swim last night and it felt sooooo good.  I’ll have to remind myself of that when I have to get out there and clean it up again.  Damn storms!

As my title says, I am feeling really good right now and feeling strong not only physically but mentally too.  Its been a week since I started this new strategy of maintaining and exercising and not so much on the losing.  And its going SOOO good.  I am not starving but I dont feel the need to binge either.  Like yesterday, I wasnt hungry.  So I didnt force myself to eat my points just because I am suppose too.  But today I am starved so I have eaten all of them and probably a few more.  But thats cool!  I think the hunger today came from all the additional exercise I have gotten over the past 3 days working outside.  Its nice to listen to what my body is saying instead of what someone else is saying.  My body knows what it needs and it will let me know.

I think I am also all pumped up because our float trip is next weekend!  Seems like it has gotten here so fast!  I pulled out the suitcase and my bag tonight to start throwing stuff in as I think about it.  As with everything else in my life I am completely OCD with packing and making sure I have everything I need.  I hate being unprepared! LOL!!  I will be the one on the float with a bag of emergency needs, I always am and it always turns out someone needs something.  Ibu’s, Q-Tips, band-aids and neosporin, heartburn relief, I take it all! 

Tomorrow will be my first missed WW’s meeting.  I have debated all week long about going but I finally decided today on the way home that I am not going.  I know I am only going because of my leader.  And I need to be going only for me.  So I wont be there.  I need to email her but I dont know what to say. 

And I have been thinking (why do I do that?!?!?).  I found out last weekend that my 20 year class reunion is coming up the weekend of Sept 1th.  So after the 4th of July I’m probably gonna get serious and see about losing the last 10 pounds.  By then the worst of summer should be over and maybe I will be refocused by then.  If I am, good for me.  If not, then I will keep at what I am doing now.  I refuse to let those last 10 pounds define me or rule me.  So I wont be putting that pressure on me or talking about it much.  But its something I am keeping in the back of my mind.

Ok..gotta scram.  And since its suppose to be nasty out for the next few days I am hoping tomorrow I can sit down and see how everyone is doing!!  I miss you guys and wonder what all is going on.  Hope everyone is being good to themselves!!  Later!

Actually the only thing blue about it is that there are not enough hours in the day to get the stuff done that I want and need to get done.  One of them being on here and being a good buddy to my buddies that are always so good to me.  I promise things will slow down (I hope) and I can return to some sort of normal.  Thank you for all the booster notes while I’ve been away.

First, opening the pool is always a huge thing for the first week or so.  Every afternoon I have to come in and work on it, check the water and chemical levels and keep the algae from starting.  And of course there are always kinks.  We had a leak, now a major part of the pump is going out and while we have one to replace it, its gonna be a huge thing to do.  Plus now rain chances are going up (for the next 8 days!!) which means it will be green before its all said and done and there isnt much I can do about it.  And it will cool back down so no swimming.  I wonder why I even bother.

But on a good note, I have 18 pumpkin plants up and growing like crazy!  Thats 6 hills, 3 plants per hill.  I cant believe they all came up, normally that doesnt happen.  Guess the soil is very fertile this year.  And I put in 18 more hills yesterday.  That will be it until the end of July when I put in the mini’s…around another 15 hills then.  But if the rain keeps on it wont be a good crop again this year.  They need hot, dry nights to produce healthy fruit.

Dietwise, I guess its ok.  Could be better, could be worse. Clothes still fit the same so I guess thats good!  Been hitting Curves everyday except for the weekends and trust me, I have enough around here to keep me busy moving.  Summertime in the south is great but its exhausting!

So thats gonna be it for today.  I’ve got to go turn the pool off and take count of the Casper pumpkin hills.  Just now as I was typing about them I checked my list and only show I planted 4 hills but I really thought it was more than that.  Gotta keep up with it now or when they start running I will have no clue what to expect!

I hope everyone is doing good and enjoying their June.  See you guys soon!

I want to say THANK YOU to all my buddies that commented yesterday.  Ladies I really felt the love and support you were sending.  Its SOOO nice knowing that while I thought I had made the right decision, that you guys have my back too.  Thats why I love this place so much!  And trust me, I missed you guys too.  Glad I got my head back on straight!

So I joined Curves today!!  And I did it without a contract or auto draft.  As I was weighing my decision last week I called the owner and talked to her.  She really didnt want to agree to taking a check each month but I told her that was the only way I was gonna join and to be honest I think she really needs the business no matter how she gets it.  So its a done deal. 

I worked out today and let me tell ya, I feel 110% better.  Not only physically but mentally too.  I was missing it alot more than I thought.  Once I got back to my office I got that post workout rush and I didnt think I was gonna be able to sit at my desk for the rest of the day.  I wanted to get up and MOVE! 

It was hard getting back into the routine.  First, from not working out for almost 2 weeks and second, I opened and cleaned my pool Sunday and I was soooo sore from that.  It took over 4 hours to get my pool cleaned and ready!  Oh my, I only thought working out was working all my muscles.  Not even close!  Monday and Tuesday I could barely walk up the stairs at work and even breathing hurt!  So today I had to take it nice and slow.  But I’ll be rocking it again soon!

Also after my workout, I felt stronger.  Mentally stronger that I can do this.  I’m not gonna talk pounds and scales…no more of that.  But I can do this lifestyle.  I just need the right tools to keep me on track.  But at the same time, I feel a huge relief.  If I go out this weekend and drink a few beers with my buddies I wont stress over it.  If my grandmother wants to eat Chinese…well, I’ll try to talk her out of it! LOL!!! 

But I dread telling my leader I wont be back after tomorrow.  Ugh, I hate doing that to her.  I probably wont mention it tomorrow.  I’ll wait and email her next week.  She has become a pretty good friend to me and I dont want her to think I am quitting because of her and trust me, she will think that. 

We are having Subway for supper tonight and then gotta run to Wally World if the storms dont blow back up.  We are starting to get everything together for our float trip and I’m not a wait until the last minute kinda person even though its two weeks away.  I bought myself a new swim top but its white.  No, I didnt want white but it was the only color in my size.  So I am hoping this other Wally we go to tonight will have a better selection and I can exchange the one I have.  Plus I need a new pair of swim shorts!  Years ago when I bought the ones I have they were too small.  But I promised myself I would get in them.  Well it took 3 years but I did last summer!  But when I put them on Sunday they were too big!  I still wore them, BIG mistake!  I had slathered myself in sunscreen from head to toe.  But I didnt think about my shorts slipping down as I squatted.  And they did and exposed parts of my body that havent seen sun in YEARS!!  Guess I had a pretty good plumber’s crack going on…and trust me, its gonna peel!!

Happy, goofy, Chris is back!  Have a great evening buddies!!!

Hey buddies!  I have been MIA for a few days, taking a breather and some me time.  Not that time spent here isnt me time but I needed some ‘me not on a diet’ time.  I needed time to not think about dieting all the time like I was starting to do.

But enough of that.  I missed you all and glad to see most are doing well.  As for me, well my title says it all.  After alot of thinking and soul searching I have decided I am ending my friendship with the scales.  He is not doing right by me or me by him so its time to call it quits.  I am tired of his judgmental ways when I havent had a good week.  And he is tired of me having bad weeks.  So goodbye you wishy washy friend!!

So what does that mean?  That means I am going back to Curves tomorrow.  I am signing up and changing my plans from weight loss to healthy living.  I may or may not get those last 10 pounds off.  Maybe not right now, maybe never.  So I am gonna concentrate on inches, strengthing and toning.  I am no longer going to say I am dieting, I am gonna say I am living a healthy lifestyle. 

I have decided I have come too far to let this last 10 pounds beat me down.  So before it does I am gonna beat it.  It is playing with my mind and has me thinking I cant do it.  It has me wanting to binge even when I really dont want too.  I have stopped telling myself no and amazingly, I have stopped wanting.  Instead of coming home after work wanting to empty the fridge I am happy having a healthy snack and waiting on supper.  No more saying no.  If I want it, I’ll have it.  Everything in moderation of course.

So as it stands right now I will be saying goodbye to my WW’s meeting.  I really, really hate doing it.  You probably dont believe me but I do.  But its not working, its not helping.  So I’m taking that money and putting it toward Curves.  Not giving up the program, just the meetings.  I will probably be a point counter for life.  And if I feel myself slipping I will return.  But right now I need to stop letting those scales control my every thought.  And since thats all WW’s goes by I need a break from them too.

I will get my weight and measurements taken again at Curves I am sure.  Or they may go by the ones from 2 weeks ago.  Anyway, that will be the only time I weigh until they weigh and measure me again next month.  No more stressing over a bad weigh in every week. 

With all of this said I’m not gonna stop what I am doing.  I am gonna continue to be healthy and stay healthy.  And if I lose some while I am at it, more better for me!  I sure hope I do and if that 10 pounds seems to find its way off my body…then good-bye to it too!  But when we go on our float trip in two weeks I will not be stressing for days ahead of it like I did the week before Memorial Day weekend.  Its not worth it.  I am gonna go and enjoy myself.  And something tells me I will have more fun because of the lack of stress.

So there it is.  This is the time for me to start loving who I am, who I have become over the past year and a half.  Its nice knowing I will never go back to that.  My resolve is too strong to ever gain that weight back.   And its also nice knowing that if me and my body decide to stay at this weight, well we’ll be fine.  And who knows what I will see in a month down the road!  It will give me something to look forward to!!

I need to say thanks to Becky, Holly, Debra, Nancy, Bette Jo and Dee for the comments on my blog last night.  Everyone of you in your own way have given me alot to think about.  Becky, you are right.  I need to get back to Curves (or somewhere else…I’ll explain that in a minute) and get back to my exercise routine.  I miss it more than I thought, in a way it turned into a drug for me.  The high I was getting after a good workout was the best.  Debra made me think about my job.  I do have a certain few friends at work but they are few and far between.  I have never worked anywhere that has so many back-stabbing, two faced people as where I work now.  Thats why I dont socialize much.  One wrong word and even look and you are the gossip de’jure of the day.  I just cant get into that.  So thats why I just make sure I do what is expected of me and stay out of the rest.  Right now they are planning a shower for a girl who has never liked me (she was friends with a girl who used to work for me that I had to fire.  You can figure out the rest) and hasnt even uttered a word to me since Halloween.  But its expected of me to cook a dish and buy a gift just because we work together?!?!?  Uhm, no.

So here is where I am today.  I did attend my meeting and I was up 1.3 pounds.  Thats ok, I really thought it was gonna be alot worse.  I wanted to talk to my leader today about my feelings but we had a new member and I couldnt bump her and the attention she needed.  I felt great while I was there.  There are only 6-8 of us at this meeting and we are all a bunch of crazy, living for the weekend women.  So we had alot of laughs about our stories of the long weekend.  So I do feel like I *got* something out of it.  But it didnt keep me from coming home, buying some beer and eating leftover hot sausage cheesedip!  Yup, I caved and ate that shit.  And ya know what, I dont feel any better.  Well, it wasnt emotional eating so I knew it wouldnt help me any but it just didnt do anything for me.  I think I wanted it because the old me wanted it.  How stupid is that?

Now, the gym part.  Just south of me (but not in the city where I work or live) the hospital has opened a new wellness center.  For a family (in this case Tom and myself) the monthly membership is 55 bucks.  Very affordable and it would be for both of us.  But Tom cant make up his mind if he wants to join.  And to be honest, I love this man but I know this man!!  He might go at first but he never commits. Come on, we have been together for 5 years and I just got my ring 6 months ago! LOL!!!  He will come in one day, say he needs to lose 10 lbs.  Eats good, works out on my elliptical or goes for a bike ride and then goes to bed.  Its all forgotten about when he wakes up and if I mention it he says he is fine.  But I dont want to tell him no in case he really means it this time.  So until he really commits I think I’m just gonna buy one month of Curves and see what happens after that.  I know the owner is gonna do her best to get me to sign a contract but it wont happen. And if she gets cross with me I can always go to the Curves south of my town and workout there. 

I have one week to decide about WW’s.  I know after my bitchfest last night it sounds stupid now to say but I still really want to make their goal.  I really want to know I did it.  I dont want to quit, I am not a quitter.  So please, and I am being serious for anyone reading this.  Tell me how to find my gusto that I had last year at 246 pounds?  I had ALOT more weight to lose, had the same battles to fight, the same weekend temptations but yet I survived them.  I lost every week from Jan 10th to July 4th.  And I only gained 1.6 pounds that weekened because I did splurge big time.  Tell me how to wake up and say I am gonna do it and mean it?  Yes, looking the way I want to look now has alot to do with why I’m not so strict anymore.  I dont want to lose another clothing size.  But I know I could still take 10 more pounds off my belly and out of my ass and make my size now fit even better!!!!

So here is it.  I am down to crunch time.  How I do this week will be my deciding factor as to whether I keep attending meetings or not. If I dont, I will stick with the program but at my own pace and maybe stay where I am indefinitely.  I have a week to prove to myself I can either do it or I will have to accept the 170’s are where I will remain.

And the clock starts ticking…

I came in today and checked in but I waited until after supper to blog.  Before I did I was a grizzly bear.  I guess now I’m just a bear cub in a bad mood.  And now looking over my blog this is turning into a 18th century novel and more of a way for me to vent than for you to have to read.  Please feel free to keep reading but if you fall asleep and wake up in a puddle of your own drool at 3 in the morning with a crick in your neck its not like I didnt warn ya!

I havent been in a bad mood all day but somehow it snuck up on me.  I think it all started when I realized today is my 5 year anniversary at my job.  Let me start by saying I sure didnt think I would be there now when I started 5 years ago.  Not that I dont like my job, for the most part I do.  But I feel very invisible there.  Yes, I choose not to get involved with alot of the stuff that goes on there…socializing, politics, etc. but when it comes to my job I just feel like since I dont make a stink I just get looked over.  Never do I get an atta-aboy or a nod.  Not that I am a glory hound but I just feel like I show up at work, work and go home.  I was thinking today as I was leaving that if I have a problem I really have no one to go to.  No one I feel like I could trust.  My old boss left last year after being there for over 10 years and she would go to bat for me.  I cant say that about anyone there now.  In fact the person who replaced her barely speaks to me and never stops by just to say hi or to see if I need to talk about anything.  I am just really down about the whole thing.  Plus I am going no where there because there is no where to go unless I go and get a law degree!  Of course I am thankful (I really am) to have my job and I need to just shut up and suck it up because so many are without one right now. I dont know, its just something on my mind and its bothering me.  I just dont want to be sitting here feeling the same way in another 5 years. 

And diet wise, well I am doing ok but I guess I’m just not into it today.  I keep a personal journal with me at all times to jot things down in, thoughts, ideas or something I come across.  And sometimes I just write like I do here.  And today I told myself I really needed to either shit or get off the pot.  And its true.  I have been at or about this weight now since October of last year.  I checked back over my old WW’s weigh in logs.   That is 7 months I have been goofing off or not taking this serious.  I will lose some, I will gain some.  Be really good for a few weeks, a month maybe and then start slacking.  Granted I did gain alot when my grandfather passed in December and I have taken it off but 180 (plus or minus a few pounds) seems to be where I have settled.  While I have not hit goal (or lifetime) I seem to have the maintenance part down pat.  So to back to my shit or get off the pot analogy.  Do I want to keep at this?  Do I really want to see 169?  So if I do, if I really do I have GOT to, no MUST get on track, stay on track and stop playing around.  But if I dont, then can/will I be happy here and keep on maintaining? 

To be honest, if you have not figured it out by my constant yard sale-ing I am a cheap person!  I hate paying for anything that I can get for cheap!  LOL!!  So I am sick of paying WW’s to tell me I have either gained or lost when I feel like thats all that is happening.  I can do that at home for free.  I know the program inside and out, backward and forward, in my sleep, in my dreams.  I know I can do it on my own, I know I will never go back to my original weight.  I wont let myself gain more than a few pounds, EVER before taking them back off.  Again, I am good at the maintain.  I hate to quit because my leader depends on me and I do like my group.  But as it stands right now, if and this is a BIG if I lose 2 pounds a week it will be the week after the 4th of July before I hit goal.  Then I have 6 weeks of maintenance (to learn what I already know???!!).  So thats around 12 weeks from now.  At 41 bucks per 4 weeks that is another 123 dollars.

And I dont see me doing that.  I dont see my body letting go of 2 pounds a week even being on track 100% with exercise.  And I dont see me being good while on the float trip fathers day weekend or over the 4th holiday.  I dont mean that as a cop-out, I am being honest…thats all.

So again, that comes back to the shitting or getting off the pot.  I have to decide between now and next Thursday (I am paid up with WW’s thru then) whether to go at this with the same gusto I had last year or stop killing myself with the mind games and just take life as it is and probably end up staying at this weight. 

But…I can also take that money I will be saving at WW’s and spend it on the month to month at Curves.  And that I know I wont quit because I am missing it so much right now.  I think that is another issue, I have lost my groove.  Today at lunch I wanted to go work out so badly.  My body is missing it and my mind is missing it.  I sorta feel screwed over it because of the way they force you to pay.  Tom and I decided last night that I will not sign the contract and they will not draft us.  Just not gonna happen.

Maybe tomorrow something wonderful will happen at my meeting to shake me up and get me going again.  But I doubt it.  I just aint feeling the love right now.  As I have said many times before, no I am not giving up.  Not giving in.  Never, ever, NEVER!  I just need to re-think some things to see where I am going.  Where I WANT to go.

Right now I want to go take a long soak in a hot bathtub.

Hum…where to start today?  I seem off kilter today.  I guess its the long weekend that has me so messed up.  That and the lack of control and no exericse.  So I feel out of sorts.  Almost like I’m not where I’m suppose to be.

As far as the diet, I am back on track today.  I guess since I ate some much over the weekend I havent been very hungry today.  My belly is still very upset with me so I wont be doing any heavy duty veggie eating for a few days.  That would only make it worse.  This afternoon has been a little tricky.  I wanted to come in and just raid the fridge even though I’m not hungry.  But I know there is cheesedip in there!  If Tom doesnt want any tonight its going into the bottom of the deep freezer for safe (meaning out of my reach) keeping!

Exercise, well I’m still stuck about whether I want to join Curves or not.  I do, I really do.  I enjoy it, I enjoy the people I work out with and I love the way it makes me feel.  But I am very weird about signing that contract.  I just dont like that one bit at all.  I can skip that part and pay month to month but its 10 bucks more if I do that.  So I need to decide which is better…the contract or the month to month.  But I need to do something soon because I really did miss it today and blame not going on alot of my sluggishness.

Even though I said I was not going to weigh I got on the scales this morning without really thinking about it.  Guess it was habit.  WOW!  I sure hope that is alot of fluid retention or I gained in one weekend what it took an entire month to lose!  Ugh, summertime is gonna be the downfall of me!  Just looking ahead at this weekend.  Saturday I have big old fashioned redneck wedding to attend.  Seriously, this thing could be on CMT!  LOL!  Its gonna be outside with so much food they could feed a small country. And booze?  Dont even get me started on that.  The mayors daughter is getting married and they are gonna make sure do it up right. 

And things like this will continue until well into fall.  Thats the one bad thing about living in a small town.  There is nothing to do so people eat and drink all weekend long.  Either around a pool in summer or a bonfire in fall.

I was counting up today.  The 4th of July holiday is in a little over 6 weeks.  Another long weekend of parties.  *sigh*

All I can do is work like crazy between now and then and see how close to goal I can get.  But I know I’m gonna have splurges between now and then just because I am human.  So all I can do it take the losses and gains as they come.  I have to stop pressing myself so hard to get to 169 when it may not happen right now.  Am I happy with that?  Not really.  But am I realistic?  Yup. 

I’m gonna go check out some blogs. I am boring myself with my droning on and on about nothing at all!  Have a great night buddies!!!

Hi my buddies!  I hope everyone had a happy and safe holiday!  We have and let me tell ya, I am worn out and I am SICK of food.  My poor belly woke me up shortly after midnight this morning and has given me no relief since.  I think its letting me know exactly what is thinks about this weekend so its giving me a reminder to not do it again.

I didnt eat my side of beef *hehehehe* but I think I have eaten everything else.  I am so sick of eating I have wondered how I used to eat like this on a weekend basis.  And I did like it?  How? Blah, I feel like a bloated, over eaten fat ass right now.

I’m not even gonna talk about gaining because I know I have.  So instead I’m gonna talk about my mind games and how I want perfection.  This started today with me cleaning house. I have admitted I am OCD in alot of way, especially when I clean.   But since I was pressed for time today I needed to just clean, thats it.  Not any deep scrubbing or closet cleaning…just clean.  But I cant!  I start in on one thing and then end up some where else, totally off track.  And I realize its a vicious cycle throughout my life.  Even with my diet.  I strive for perfection.  That is why I was so tore up over this weekend for a week before it!!  In fact at one time today while cleaning the bathroom (and seeing myself in mirrors that cover 3/4 of the walls in there) that my goal of 169 wasnt enough.  I decided I need to lose more!  I was thinking maybe another 30 pounds!!  Where in the hell did that come from?

I have a closet full of clothes (actually now 2.5 closets full) that I love!  Most I have not even worn yet!  And most are size 10 or 12’s.  I have not been a 10 or 12 for years!  So why do I think I need to be even smaller? 

Ugh, here I go again.  And why, really?  Did one weekend put that much doubt in my mind?  And if it did then why would I ever want to splurge again?  I dont feel defeated by these thought but I do wonder why they creep in.  But enough.  I just needed to get this out here.  I had a fun filled weekend with too much food and too much booze.  One weekend will not cause me to gain it all back.  One weekend will not change my mind.  One weekend will not destroy me.   So I’m not perfect.  Big whooping friggin deal!!

A quick Dozer update becaue I think it cute and I dont have kids to brag on! LOL!  I put his stinky butt in the tub today.  He has decided he wants to be in the house as much as possible or maybe even full time.  So tonight he comes straight in after us working on the pool and jumps in Tom’s recliner.  I bet the look of shock on my face scared him!  I was ok with it but not with his smelly funk so I told him to the bath we go.  And he was ok with it!  It wasnt easy getting him into the garden tub (the shower would have been better, its walk in and we have a hand wand on it but being his first time I was seeing a disaster waiting to happen.)  But anyway, he didnt fight me and I think he enjoyed it!  In fact he wouldnt get out because I think he was really liking the toweling off part!!  Becky, I have no intentions of ever letting him go back, my home is his home now.  Tom and I have been talking tonight and we are trying to think of a way to formally adopt him.  I told Tom we should go over with cash and offer it to him for a bill of sale.  In my state animals are considered property.  But I do plan on talking to my boss (he is my IT director but also an attorney) tomorrow to see if we have any rights because here ‘possession is 9/10’s of the law’ does apply and we have had him now for 2 weeks.  

So I guess that its!  I need to get off here and get my breakfast and lunch ready for tomorrow.  No more cheating, its time to get back on track and undo what I did this weekend.  Plus I am dog ass tired!!  Night guys! 

If you havent heard that song, well…you need to.  Its just a nice reminder that you never know who you will make an impact on just by being nice.  Just by saying the right thing, taking the time out of your day to make someone else’s day just a little better, a little happier just by listening or carrying on with a word or two.  Just be nice to those around you and wonderful things will happen to you.  ‘Nuff said.

First things first…THANK you all for the comments yesterday about the pit bull incident.  You guys are the best!  Becky, when I read your blog last night I could feel the heat coming off you as you typed those words.  And yes, everyone of you are right, he needs to be reported and would have been but…

apparently the dog is gone.  And that worries me right there because I’m not sure what happened.  We were at our cookout last night and our friend’s stepson was there.  He said he was at the bait store just up from our house and saw the pit.  He was running around the parking lot, scaring people but really looking for food I am sure.  So the girl working in there had called the city cops who in turn called the county.  So I dont know what happened with that and I try not to think about it.  Becky was right, they will put him down if they got him.  But in a way I hope they did get him before some redneck with a gun got him.  But he is gone.

Dozer is ok, he is again laying on my kitchen rug.  In his still puppy state his legs are too long for his upper body so he is top heavy.  So he has a hard time on the hardwoods.  So where ever he can find a rug he will stick to it.  I have to lay down blankets just for him to get footing enough to get up!  He is so silly!  He has been in since 7 this morning because he has decided he hates the rain even with outside shelter.  No accidents but we did let him out for awhile around lunch. Now he is snoozing again.  And Leah, he said he would LOVE for you to come have a beer with us.  And if you have a buddy for him, he would be glad to share a bone or two!  :-p

Now, about last night. Well I still havent gotten my ribs and I guess I wont this weekend.  Just as they fired up the grill last night it came one hell of a downpour!!!  So instead they ordered pizza!  OMG!  Do you know how long its been since I’ve had real, true blue pizza?  And from my favorite pizza joint to boot!  But after I ate a salad I only had room for 2 slices of pepperoni.  So it wasnt all bad.  Of course I got up this morning and had two more for breakfast     :-0

Today has been miserable around here.  The rain has been coming down in buckets.  Right *now* its stopped and its not suppose to start up again until tomorrow.  So tonight’s cookout is back on and I am being forced to make cheese dip.  No, I dont have a gun held to my head but it was asked of me by a few different folks and I’m not one to say no like that.  So I’m gonna make it and I’m gonna eat some and be ok with it.  Funny when you arent being so strict with everything it gives you a little time to do some soul searching and to be honest, while this weekend may have not been good for my waistline it has been good for looking inside myself as to why I am losing this weight and why 169 is so important to me.  And while it is still very important to me, I have decided I am NOT gonna pass up opportunities to live.  No, life is not all about food but in this world life and food does go hand in hand when we celebrate.  So if I gain this weekend, so what?  Really.  I mean it.  What is it gonna do?  Will the stock market crash?  Will gas prices go up to 5 bucks a gallon?  Will the sky turn black and stay that way until I lose it?  And besides me who else is gonna stress over it?

I am too close to goal to let silly shit like that bother me now.  So I’m gonna eat my hot sausage cheese dip tonight, I’m gonna drink the other 6 beers left out of my 12 pack from yesterday and I’m gonna be the only girl in the group tonight in the shop and listen to way too many dirty jokes and comments from the best guys friends in the world.  And when I get on those scales again and I see that gain…I’m gonna think back and say it was worth it because those are times I may never have again.

And I’ll be singing the entire time…

God is great, beer is good…and people are crazy

I did it buddies, I didnt break last night.  The smell of burgers and hot dogs was enough to make a grown man cry out in hunger but not me.  I smiled and said no!  No beer drinking either!  I was so proud of myself and came home happy!  Now today…well I did make that deal with myself! LOL!

But really, I do plan on eating some summertime fare tonight.  And I stopped and got myself a 12 pack.  So yeah, I’m gonna have some fun tonight.  Not go crazy but yup, tonight is the night.  I think we are having ribs so hopefully they wont be too fatty and I can enjoy them without suffering too much!

Let me tell yall how my day started.  As most of my buddies know we have sort of adopted the next door mastiff pup.  His owner threw him out of the house and neglected him so we are taking care of him.  But last Sunday he brought in a pit bull and chained it up outside his house.  Now dont get me wrong when I say this, I love the breed.  Have nothing against them at all and have a friend whose pit bull Leo, is one of my favorite fur buddies.  But I am a little worried about the one next door.  His ears are almost completely gone.  I’m not sure if they have been cut or eaten off.  And not knowing his background makes me nervous.

So getting back to this morning, I was going yard sale-ing and was up before the sun.  So I went to the backporch to check on Dozer.  We have been keeping the gate open so he can come and go as he pleases.  Well I see what I think is Dozer standing over his food bowl but he was really dark.  And I was thinking he must be wet because he is a dark honey colored.  So to get a better look I went to the backdoor when all the sudden this pit jumped up on the door and was looking thru the window at me.  Scared the shit out of me!  I hollared for Tom but by the time he got there the dog was gone.  I finally found Dozer hiding behind some bushes.

So I told Tom to get dressed and grab the pistol and walk me to my car.  No, I dont and wont hurt the pit but again, I dont know him.  I left without seeing him.  But minutes later Tom called.  Said he just walked up the back steps and heard what he thought was Dozer coming up behind him.  Nope, it was the pit coming right at him.  He froze knowing he couldnt get the pistol out of his pants quick enough but didnt want to spook the dog either and get jumped.  But get this, the pit came running with his tongue hanging out, jumped up on Tom and started loving all over him!  Tom petted him and when he opened the back door to come in, the pit ran in!  Tom had to literally drag him out.  And you want to know why all this happened?  Because the pit is starving. He looks just like Dozer did 2 weeks ago.  I dont know what in the hell we are gonna do.  First, he cannot let a pit run around loose.  We have an ordinance against them in my county.  Second, he is scary looking.  Someone is gonna kill him and I’m afraid they are gonna get Dozer too.  So here we go again. We havent seen him since this morning and as much as I hate to say it I hope he chained him back up.  Dozer is fine, in fact he is laying right behind me on my kitchen rug chewing on his stuffed Duck.  But we cant take care of the pit too.  And the county will take him if they see him running loose. 

But the yard sales sucked today!  Very few of them and the ones we did find didnt have much.  But thats ok, cant have a winning weekend everytime.  Between the weather and the holiday I knew there wouldnt be much.  Speaking of weather, the rain is slowly moving in, been raining now for around 20 minutes.  Slow and steady and its suppose to be here until *atleast* next Friday.  Yuck!!  No planting, no trimming, no pool opening.  Who knows, we may not cook out tonight afterall.  But I’m still drinking a few beers!!  :-p

LOL!  Doze just walked up and put his head in my lap and looked at the computer like he was saying ‘whatcha doin?’.  Big ol floppy eared doof!  I think he wanted to ask Becky how Leroy is doing! 

See you guys later!  Have a safe Saturday night!